| it's never easy to be a grownup!!
i used to think when you'r older, things would be a lot easier to handle!! but i was wrong!! once you are a grownup, there are many choices you need to make!! choices you cant just easily go back and fix it!! what is done is done, like there's no turning back!!
I used to call for help when i felt helpless without being thoughtful!! in my past life, i'd been passive when it came to crisis!! because I always knew someone somewhat/somehow would come and save my li'l fool! or someone somewhat/somehow would forigve me for my stupid words or silly behavior!! however, one thing i hadnt thought of was how others feel!! as I look my past life, many things continuously repeated themselves, like it never stop from happening!! now i feel sorry for myself!! for being such a li'l baby and not able to handle all the things alone!! because I never thought of "what-might-happen" if this doesnt work out!! and never had a contingency plans!! for whoever got hurt by me, or hate me, i'm not only terribly sorry, but also begging your pardon for be my friends again, or at least talk to me!! life was not so easy on me in the past few years ever since I graduated!! issues popped out to remind me how childish/rude i was! they all come back to me and torture me day by day!! (but, also thank to that at least I know how to do better)
for whoever knows my situation now, encourages me, even tolerance my snobbish and princess-like behavior!!I Love you and Thank you!! at least I know I am not alone!! at least I know there's someone out there understanding me, giving out the best suggestions (though I know you are also going through many decision-makings, and also in chaos)
it's 4:30 in the morning, and I'm thinking about whether or not tomorrow's problem will be solved!! whether or not I can come out with a better alternatives to break previous agreement !! and seal the deal!!
It's not so easy to be a grownup!! but yet, it's LIFE!! |
